As I write this, the COVID-19 pandemic is still in full swing. People's opinions and decisions range across the whole spectrum. Some throw caution to the wind and refuse to let anything get in between them and their partner. Some are on the fence right now, uncertain of how to navigate this environment. Others are postponing their marriage indefinitely until things go back to normal. All of these mindsets are completely valid, and I'm not writing this to persuade anyone one way or the other. I write this to inspire you and tell the story of some people who bravely married their partner despite a global pandemic, and to tell you the story of others who equally bravely prioritized human life and the livelihood of others over their relationship with their partner.
Perseverance
One of the very first weddings I photographed after the lockdowns hit was in the bride's living room because their venues for the ceremony and reception had all cancelled on them. But she didn't care. She was in love, and she was going to marry him no matter what. I remember asking her if she had any hesitation due to current events, and she emphatically said, "Hell no." I am about her son's age, so she took the opportunity to teach me a life lesson on chasing what I want in life. She said, "We all have to take risks to get what we want. Things will always, always get in our way; we just have to push through at all costs." And boy did she ever. Her and her daughter-in-law put some flowers up, placed a little carpet in front of the fireplace, called her niece who was ordained, bought hors d’oeuvres and champagne, and hired me. I had the honor of being one of just a handful of people there to celebrate with her and her husband that day. They were so grateful that I honored their decisions and took the risk with them.
Against All Odds
I'd like to think I coined the term 'guerrilla wedding' because that's exactly what started happening. Venues were (and still are) all shut down here and parks all had very strict capacity limits and social distancing rules. However, some couples were a bit rebellious, and still wanted a scenic, memorable wedding. I had done plenty of outdoor shoots and weddings, but this was different. Guerrilla weddings peaked, in my book, one wedding I photographed in October, 2020. This couple planned for the ceremony to be outdoors in a beautiful nearby park. I didn't have any reason to think it was going to get crazier than normal until the energy around got suddenly tense, in a good way. Like when we were kids playing hide and seek, but not the normal hide and seek though. The kind of hide and seek that is almost not fun for the seeker anymore because we got too strategic and coordinated. It was a straight-up military operation. Rush in place, say I do, quick picture, and then get the heck out of dodge. Of course, this made my job exponentially more difficult, and risky. Any second the park rangers could have rolled up on us and issued painful memories, but the wedding planner was too good. She had us in and out in less than 20 minutes, and she made sure I got the shots I needed to get for them. I hadn't signed up for that, but don't regret it either. It honed my craft sharper than anything else could. I doubt anyone involved will forget that day, or experience a rush quite like that.
Three's A Crowd
I cannot write about weddings in 2020-21 without acknowledging elopements. They had already been on the rise in the last handful of years, but some sources report an increase of 500% in elopements from 2019 to 2020. Eloping is such a creative and valid option, not to mention all the money couples wind up saving. It seems that eloping is the perfect compromise for people who may be on the fence. They want to get married, but also want to mitigate the risk as much as possible. These extremely small "micro weddings" exaggerate the connection I love to build with my clients. Often, I will even have to sign as a witness. My last elopement embodied all that. They had a really nice ceremony and we did some indoor photos there in the chapel. But when we got outside, everything broke loose. It was so cold we cursed mother nature in between poses, jogging from spot to spot on the riverwalk. Thank God it was Wisconsin and we were able to dip into the nearest bar to warm back up. The shoot wasn't yet over, but I wasn't a hired photographer anymore. I was part of the squad now. I was able to capture the purest, most candid photos imaginable. There was no longer an awkward boundary. There was trust and comradery. Snapping shots in between jabs, jokes, and fits of laughter. I love being the photographer for large weddings because of the challenge, and the rush, but I love elopements for the connection, the trust, and exclusively being a part of their history. It creates an instant bond.
Parade Rain
On the other hand, I have had innumerable cancellations. Yes, not rescheduled, but flat-out cancelled. Some aren't able to take that risk. It has been a rough year and a catalyst for subconscious self-doubt. I have to regularly force myself to stop asking myself if it was something I said, if they had doubts about me and my craft, or if other photographers are snatching up my clients. I'm sure everyone in this industry has faced this over the last year. I have extra provisions in my contracts to help my clients in the event of a covid cancellation, so it hurts a bit more too. In speaking with these folks, I regularly hear that they are just not going to get married. Not because the relationship failed, but because they want a 'traditional' wedding. And they can't risk it anytime soon.
Everyone knows Covid has wreaked havoc on the event industry, but it has created an environment for truly amazing and unique experiences for all of us. We would never have asked for this, but we're better off today than if we had not gone through it. Our friends are closer than ever, and that’s what matters the most.
- Daniel Burnet